The Winners' Forum

Yeah, I can already hear "What's the point?" from all kinds of people who gave up fight before the battle ever started. It especially bothers me when I hear it from younger people. They don't even realize how much they are giving up just by not trying. My response to them is: "What is the point of living or having whatever they desire? What is the point of looking rebellious if you don't actually try to change what is bothering you?"

Often I have to tell myself to wake up and smell the coffee. It is not always easy but giving up leads to depression which makes it worse.

Wake up, get up and smile. It is a brand new day. Lots of snow on the ground. I have to find a reason to like these winters before they drive me crazy. So, here is my resolution - instead of repeating how much I hate snow, I will say how beautiful it is each time I look out the window until I am convinced.

Smile, smile, smile a lot until someone smiles back at you and those smiles keep multiplying.

Be so happy that everyone will want to hang around you hoping to "catch" some of your happiness.

Then, make a wish (and don't say "What's the point?") and live like your wish has already been granted. It works like charm. Oh, but it is a charm.

Give it a try and let me know. Then you'll be ready for the battle except, when you look around all geared up for fight, you will realize that the war is already over.

YOU WON!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It took you a while, my friend, to read and think about the message. On July 12, 2006 maybe I have been so far out of the picture you were living in. Your ship was sinking and you chose honorably to go down with it. I respect that. I just wish I knew it then. Or maybe not . . . I am not so sure any more. More I think about it, more I understand things had to happen the way they did for both of us. It was yet another learning process we had to go through. It is my turn now to end the lie I have been living in and bravely step out of my comfort zone. Walt Disney once said that "in order to live our dream we have to wake up first". It seems we are both awake now and ready to step into a dream. I will be crossing the ocean again. I'm coming home so the fairy tale can begin and the last page of the book will read "....and they lived happily ever after....." Cute, isn't it? Another real life Cinderella story . . .  Do you agree ?

 

First of all, thank you Megan for the comment. I love rainbows, too. Especially when they come in pairs like the ones in Osoyoos. And I do smile so much that they nicknamed me Smiley.

Regardless, there are people who think you are stupid because you smile a lot or because you are always nice. There are people who think they can take advantage of you because you are so nice and you will never figure it out. There are people who will commission you to do the job and then not pay. Oh, forget about paying! They won't even say simple Thank you for all the work. Yes, there are people like that in this world and they think they outwitted you so they can laugh behind your back. And all I say to that is that they are the stupid ones because they will come knocking on my door some day or need a favour from someone I know and they will be turned down "just because . . .". It will not be tomorrow or the day after. Maybe in a year or even in more distant future than that, but it will happen and they will wonder why while I will be laughing in their face rather than behind their back. Maybe I will not be laughing, but most certainly I will have one of my very special stupid grins for the occasion. And then I will fly away again like I often do.

So, all I can say now is: My dear Mr.K, choke on your money, shove it wherever you want because you will always be more miserable than I have ever been in the worst moments of my life.

So I am chasing the rainbow still. At times I even feel like one. Such is the multitude of colours in my life. Anything but dull, anything but same old in every minute of every day of my life. I think that what life is supposed to be like. What do you think, my invisible friend? Do you still drop by to see if I wrote anything new, or you completely gave up on me? Are you secretly sneaking back into my world while I am not watching and wandering what might have been if you had let it happen?

I can understand almost anything, but I cannot understand why. Will you ever gather some courage to give me the answer to that question? There is quite a few miles between Summerland and OK Falls. Why lie? What purpose did that ever serve? What made that sudden change of heart within 24 hours? I know where you are. I knew it for a long time but I waited for you to come out clean and you never did. You still can, if you want to. I would love to wish you a happy birthday in person instead of leaving a package for you at work. That would turn me into a stalker maybe and we both know that is not so. So, come out and say a word. I will understand and life will go on as it always does. Cowardice and lies are not the qualities that will ever lead you to a happy life. Here is your chance to change it. Will you?

You are often on my mind and today I went for an ice-cream at Tickleberries. You know where that is. You park your truck just about a hundred feet away from it and I saw it there parked again as the last time I drove through your town although I was supposed to believe you were somewhere else. And I never asked, but people talk not knowing what is going on. As I often say: If you live a lie, you will die in a lie and you will never have had a real life. Just think about it. Still friends?

Once upon a time (not so long ago) I used to have a friend and when we were unable to see each other we would have a little evening chat on the Internet. Those days are gone. I still send messages and keep hoping for a reply. No replies from my friend. My telephone does not ring either. Yet I know that my friend is still alive and alright. What I would like to know is what ended our friendship.

Do you have the same experience with some people that get so close to you that you consider them your best friends and then, all of a sudden a person disappears into thin air - cowardly vanishes to avoid conversation or, God forbid, a confrontation.

I always thought that true friends are the ones who are ready and willing to confront with us when needed, the ones who agree to disagree and do not hold it against us, the ones who know that we are not trying to change them when we are trying to express who we are. It seems that these days the world is divided into two major groups: The Users and The Losers. No more friends, no more family members to support us when we hit the bottom. More and more people wait for us to hit the bottom so they can step on our heads to get closer to the top. Those are the Users. And then you have those who are doing their best to be helpful, to be liked by everybody (which is totally impossible) and who disappear to avoid conflicts. Yup, you guessed right - those are the Losers.

And then you have a third group of "independent thinkers" like myself who speak up, question, complain, sometimes succeed, sometimes fail, sometimes rich, sometimes poor, considered Losers for some, but rarely considered Users. That is the Catch 22: you cannot be the User if you always speak your mind, but you easily lose friends you thought you once had. Users like you until they figure out that you are not exactly dancing to your tune and then they run away before you expose them. Losers believe you are their spokesperson and they are committed to you until you tell them it is their turn to take an action. Then they are gone faster than a shooting star on a midsummer night.

I guess now you can tell where my head was at in past three months (besides the fact that I forgot about this blog).

So, my dear friend, if you are reading this, I hope you get in touch before I leave because that might be really soon (in a couple of weeks).

So, this is Blog. Now I can air out my frustrations. Quite an entry to The Winners' Forum. Doesn't sound like a winner at all. That actually is a secret weapon that finally became public - let the steam out before you explode. If you are pointing to right direction, steam will jettison you where you want to be. My only problem at present time is that I cannot see for some weird reason which one of my friends is on line now. MSN Messanger turned blank. Did that happen to you? If that is "the advantage" of BETA, I don't like it. If it is only a temporary thing, I hope it is fixed fast. Or, it might be my computer. So, how do we fix it without resetting all over again? Any friendly suggestions?

Once upon a time there was this machine called telex, and people were chatting live, each letter was showing on both ends as it was typed and there were no nudges but a little button with a bell sign on it and we used to ring a bell so our friends would know there was someone waiting for reply. I somehow miss those days. Have you ever seen one of those noisy machines? Has anyone pulled a prank on you while you were preparing a mile long tape that was all over the floor waiting to be inserted into a reader and transmitted. Do you know how it feels when someone rolls your chair over the tape and snaps it when you were almost done with your typing and now you have to start all over again because the ribbon got damaged? Those were the good old 80's. Friends were within 10 minutes walking distance away and you could cry on a real shoulder instead of typing your frustrations to invisible reader hoping you will be understood. New technology is running us over and we don't even notice. Can't work, talk, play or even think without a computer any more. What kind of drug this is? I am just another addict, I guess, so, if you don't get to see new blogs coming from me, I might be somewhere fighting my addiction - walking and breathing some fresh air for change.